I identify most with they/them pronouns as it prompts inquiry and discourse in public and mixed spaces, but I like to change it up if I notice people are not confused.
Sacred intimate, Trans-ascendant Coach & Erotic Guide
My embodied role in this care work
I offer sacred intimacy guidance as well as subversive gendering exploration and revelry for gendering queerly. The heart of my craft is a commitment to embodied queer resistance and pleasure-based somatics.
Working together, we build skills to decrease discomfort while navigating your desires. This might look like masturbation coaching, shared erotic play explorations, or somatic gendering guidance and joy.
I have been walking erotic and pleasure practices into my bones through teaching and skill-sharing for the past twenty years, am over the moon joyous about this work, and look forward to sharing that enthusiasm with you.
What I'm bringing of myself and from others
A few of the socio-political identities I hold in my heart and body include anglo, white, settler-immigrant (from Huichin/Oakland to Tio'tia:ke/Montréal), primarily Slavic-Jew and Nordic in heritage, crone-in-training, rheostatic Queer, FtX trans genderqueer, non-monogamous, and leather dyke.
Some of the lived experiences underpinning my offerings include my own traumas of childhood mother loss, coming out as bisexual and losing my entire world at 19 years, chronic depression and anxiety, homelessness, rapes and sexual assaults, gender dysphoria and now a mixed trans fem/masc experience in the world.
And coming out of all of that: harm reduction based social work with houseless veterans, queer world-rebuilding via social activism and grass roots organizing, embracing self-regard and sovereignty through BDSM, various coaching programs such as Disobedience School and many forms of therapy from age regression to CBT to art, mindfulness and ecstatic breath training via meditation, intuitive dance, yoga and neo-tantra, DE&I training and event development within the tech sector, informed and enthusiastically engaged consent (complete with a negotiation fetish I’ve been teaching about for nearly two decades), various forms of sex work (from full service to porn to pro dom), years as an erotic event producer and educator, plus university degrees in Psychology, Women's Studies and Marketing. Most recently training under Mantak Chia for taoist sexual alchemy, am moving towards facilitator training with both Urban Tantra as well as Betty Dodson's BodySex, and have completed both Sexological Bodywork and Somatic Sex Education programs.
How I came to this work
I have immense gratitude for the amazing influences that touch me and the service offerings that support my journey along the way. I bring humility and gratitude to my offerings learned from the world re-imagining and recreation done by BIPOC, queer, trans, and disability authors, activists, and artists.
I have developed this work in my endeavour to merge the two loves of my life: sovereignty through somatic awareness, with positive regard for non-normative queerness! I have been using many similar practices in my own life over the years, with friends, lovers, and strangers. It has been a dream come true to deepen my knowledge and see how simply these practices can offer an opportunity for inspiring authenticity and empowerment for the purposes of collective liberation. I hope you'll reach out so we might weave our differing ways of knowing.
Ways of Knowing
I learn most passionately through active engagement and shared experiences. Therefore, most of the pedagogical lessons, embodied understandings, and ways of being in the world are deeply influenced and crafted by my own bohemian research and workshop attendance. On top of that, I'm an avid reader and decidedly non-fiction enthusiast that enjoys harnessing the hyper-focus capabilities of my ADHD brain.
Embodied Sexuality
I hold a certificate in Sexological Bodywork and I am a graduate of the Institute for Somatic Sex Education. My program final project focused on utilizing creativity and somatic practices to embrace our gender queerness, as well as post-operative trans surgery scars. I have also trained with Mantak Chia in Taoist Sexual Alchemy. These brought me to masturbation coaching and as well as embodied consent work which often includes one-way touch and engaged role play.Scar Care
I began my fascination with scar tissue while planning for my own double mastectomy surgery. Since then, my scar trainings have included the STRAIT Methodology with Marjorie Brooks as well as the work of Ellen Heed. In this work, I forefront pleasure, seeking sensations and elasticity that feels yummy and proceeding with the scar work as we do so.
Working with Trauma
I spent a decade in non-profit work supporting Veterans and their families without housing (from data to street outreach to political reporting). This deeply impacted my understanding of the vitality found in grassroots and peer to peer support services within systems of oppression and harm. I have also lived with an intimate partner for 20 years, navigating flashbacks and C-PTSD.
My embodied understandings of traumas include mother loss as a child and the total destruction of my life when I came out as gay. These were paired with survival sex work and many rapes. I am grateful to have had privilege of access to diverse healthcare and alternative support services within the San Francisco bay area and know the absolute necessity of feeling heard and held in our pain.
Kink & Leather
I spent years as a professional dominatrix as well as a BDSM community playspace owner. For several years I traveled across the US offering kink and non-monogamy workshops. I have served on many Leather event boards including, Folsom Street Fair, International Ms Leather & Bootblack, Dark Odyssey and more. Gay Leather culture and my volunteer work with HIV/AIDS has deeply impacted my care to name and consiously engage with power structures and dynamic possibilities. I've been in many long-term D/s dynamics and varied positions within.
Non-Monogamy
For many years as a kid, my father was non-monogamous. I was privy to many of his musings about how to navitate these dynamics. When I began dating I immediately began to puzzle it out myself and have now been in the same non-monogamous relationship for 20 years. Within, I've had a variety of on-going and changing dynamics with many others from D/s power dynamics to romantic long term partnerships to comets and lover-friends. I believe deeply in the sovereignty of self constructing the dynamics we desire, as well as the beauty and resilience found in mindful and caring transitions.Formalities
I hold a Bachelors of Science in Psychology with a minor in Women's Studies. I also have a Masters of Science degree in Digital Marketing. These are overwhelmingly composted foundations to the self directed learnings shared above and beyond.
Bodysex
I am currently in training to facilitate BodySex circles (created by Betty Dodson) and have been participating in and hosting women's erotic spaces for many years. These have included sacred sexuality practices as well as erotic circles for deepened self intimacy.
Urban Tantra
I'm in process of practitioner training for Urban Tantra (created by Barbara Carrelles). I have gone through the book's exercises with many different partners over the years, and first came to neo-tantric practices through Skydancing Tantra with Chris English in Silicon Valley in the early 2000s. These practices are not the Eastern philosophic and esoteric yogic traditions of tantra, but rather Western interpretations that often veer from appreciative to appropriative.
